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Sharenting: You might not "like" the effects

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For those who came of age before the internet, the right to be forgotten was an unrecognized privilege. But now that the possibility of an analog childhood has all but been erased, the question of how to reconcile a parent’s right to share content about their children online with a child’s right to develop their own digital identity has raised the eyebrows of advocates for child privacy. Parents should avoid posting photos and videos of their children until they reach the “digital age of consent,” which is currently at age 13. However, I support the proposal that the age should be raised to 16 years old, per the PROTECT (Kids) Act that has been introduced to Congress. While parents have a right to freedom of speech and posts of their children are presumably well-intentioned, this point-of-view does not consider the long-term, psychological and societal effects of “sharenting.”  What happens to a child when they live under the expectation that their lives are tracked and documented cons
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Productivity hacks for working from home

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  Get out of your pajamas and into an actual outfit, but nothing with a zipper, button or collar. Turn on the TV, sit in front of it with your laptop and all your resources and apps open. Write one sentence per hour. Panic after 4 hours, wondering why you only have a paragraph’s worth of work. Take regular breaks -- a quick walk around the block, work out, throw a load of laundry in while you spiral out of control on Amazon. Lean into the urgency of finding the perfect dish drying rack to replace the current one that’s working perfectly fine. Put your phone on “do not disturb.” Place it right next to your hand. Check it often to make sure you’re not missing any notifications due to the “do not disturb.” Find a good playlist for studying or focused work. Spiral into the sadness and beauty of life as you become overwhelmed by the lyrics and dramatic crescendos of the songs. Get up and stretch, which will inspire you to research free workout apps for the next hour.  Go to the bathro
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Soda costs extra, but they'd never know it

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Being a first generation child who then becomes a parent is an interesting experience. It makes you particularly reflective about your own upbringing, mostly because as a child of immigrants, life can be pretty frugal and focused on making sure your life will never be as terrible as your parents’ life in the motherland, and quite frankly, as an “other” in the US. That manifests into the stereotypes we’ve all heard before: A laser focus on getting exceptional grades, guilt, frustration, constant feelings of failure, never wasting money, eating out, and on the rare occasion you do go to a restaurant, never, ever ordering anything but water with your meal. Even on special occasions, you should always know you’re living on razor-thin margins. Now that I have privileged American children who have never known the frugality and emotional distance of immigrant parents, their ignorance over everyday luxuries and whining about perceived injustices are particularly comical and grating.  Friday is
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A grief not of my own

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 A very good friend's father recently passed away. This was the first time any of our inner circle of friends experienced a loss of a parent. We helped in the tangible ways we knew how: Texting/calling for updates, meal trains, gift cards, engaging our network of medical professionals. They were all deeply appreciated. We couldn't treat his illness, but we could solve for the consequential obstacles, hopefully clearing a path for our friend to process and grieve. I gave her a call as the situation unfolded, anxious about not knowing what I would say or what it would accomplish, but feeling compelled to connect. Almost immediately I burst into tears when she picked up the phone. So did she. It was unexpectedly cathartic for both of us to have a good cry together, even if it didn't "accomplish" anything.  What I later learned from a timely Brain Pickings video share on helping grieving friends is that sometimes the solution is just. to. cry. Go into their bubble of
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A relationship must-have

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  My husband and I have been married for several years. We once asked each other what we thought was the most important trait to look for in a partner. We both agreed it's self-awareness. If we had asked ourselves this question in our 20's, we likely would've answered with a litany of features as if buying an iPhone or winter jacket. Even though dating apps have made filtering for a partner very much like online shopping, this crucial "feature" can never be included in those options. You either have self-awareness or you don't. Those who don't, think they have it, and those who see that you don't have it would never tell you. It's the foundation of how you engage with the world and how you perceive yourself within your community.  Perhaps you think, "nay, kindness is the guiding principle of all relationships!" But as I approach middle age (gulp), I can assure you that I have met plenty of nice people who have meant well, but executed poo
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A mote of dust

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“Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.” — Carl Sagan Photo by  Max McKinnon  on  Unsplash
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