Responsive to Stimuli

 A very good friend's father recently passed away. This was the first time any of our inner circle of friends experienced a loss of a parent. We helped in the tangible ways we knew how: Texting/calling for updates, meal trains, gift cards, engaging our network of medical professionals. They were all deeply appreciated. We couldn't treat his illness, but we could solve for the consequential obstacles, hopefully clearing a path for our friend to process and grieve. I gave her a call as the situation unfolded, anxious about not knowing what I would say or what it would accomplish, but feeling compelled to connect. Almost immediately I burst into tears when she picked up the phone. So did she. It was unexpectedly cathartic for both of us to have a good cry together, even if it didn't "accomplish" anything.  What I later learned from a timely Brain Pickings video share on helping grieving friends is that sometimes the solution is just. to. cry. Go into their bubble of ...

  My husband and I have been married for several years. We once asked each other what we thought was the most important trait to look for in a partner. We both agreed it's self-awareness. If we had asked ourselves this question in our 20's, we likely would've answered with a litany of features as if buying an iPhone or winter jacket. Even though dating apps have made filtering for a partner very much like online shopping, this crucial "feature" can never be included in those options. You either have self-awareness or you don't. Those who don't, think they have it, and those who see that you don't have it would never tell you. It's the foundation of how you engage with the world and how you perceive yourself within your community.  Perhaps you think, "nay, kindness is the guiding principle of all relationships!" But as I approach middle age (gulp), I can assure you that I have met plenty of nice people who have meant well, but executed poo...

“Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.” — Carl Sagan Photo by  Max McKinnon  on  Unsplash