A relationship must-have

 



My husband and I have been married for several years. We once asked each other what we thought was the most important trait to look for in a partner. We both agreed it's self-awareness. If we had asked ourselves this question in our 20's, we likely would've answered with a litany of features as if buying an iPhone or winter jacket. Even though dating apps have made filtering for a partner very much like online shopping, this crucial "feature" can never be included in those options. You either have self-awareness or you don't. Those who don't, think they have it, and those who see that you don't have it would never tell you. It's the foundation of how you engage with the world and how you perceive yourself within your community. 

Perhaps you think, "nay, kindness is the guiding principle of all relationships!" But as I approach middle age (gulp), I can assure you that I have met plenty of nice people who have meant well, but executed poorly. And while this combination is ultimately forgivable, it doesn't exactly leave the best impression. 

I guess this is why I love this poem. It's about self-reflection -- acknowledging your past mistakes and celebrating your evolution. But without self-awareness there is no evolution.


Photo via Rudy Francisco

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