Productivity hacks for working from home

 


  1. Get out of your pajamas and into an actual outfit, but nothing with a zipper, button or collar.
  2. Turn on the TV, sit in front of it with your laptop and all your resources and apps open. Write one sentence per hour. Panic after 4 hours, wondering why you only have a paragraph’s worth of work.
  3. Take regular breaks -- a quick walk around the block, work out, throw a load of laundry in while you spiral out of control on Amazon. Lean into the urgency of finding the perfect dish drying rack to replace the current one that’s working perfectly fine.
  4. Put your phone on “do not disturb.” Place it right next to your hand. Check it often to make sure you’re not missing any notifications due to the “do not disturb.”
  5. Find a good playlist for studying or focused work. Spiral into the sadness and beauty of life as you become overwhelmed by the lyrics and dramatic crescendos of the songs.
  6. Get up and stretch, which will inspire you to research free workout apps for the next hour. 
  7. Go to the bathroom and obsess about the asymmetry of your eyebrows to improve your attention to detail.
  8. It’s important to maintain your professional contacts. Go to LinkedIn and find former colleagues to reach out to, then question whether or not your note makes you sound creepy and desperate. Wonder if they even remember you?? Delete your message. Peruse your uber-successful connections and ask yourself how you’ve squandered your career opportunities. 
  9. Pet your dog or cat. Kiss their soft heads and inhale their furry musk. Ruminate about what one must do to secure reincarnation into a domesticated, comfortable pet in your next life.
  10. Ensure proper varieties of drinks are at your fingertips. Coffee/tea to stay alert and water because no one drinks enough water nowadays. Obsessively drink the recommended 0.5 - 1 oz of water per pound you weigh. Reframe your constant peeing as baked-in breaks.

Photo by Paico Oficial on Unsplash

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